Over Thanksgiving weekend, we celebrated my sister-in-law’s birthday. Some of our cousins were driving through on Saturday and so they stopped to surprise her. The older children were the flower girls in my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding, and they love pleasant surprises. I was part of their greeting party. The two older children were so excited to be part of the surprise, to the point of being giddy with their little hands shaking slightly. The youngest had just woken from a nap during the car ride and was carried into the house, but eventually he warmed up too and played various games with the little balls that were some of the only toys on offer. I hadn’t seen the kids or their parents for several months, and seeing the little ones is always a highlight.

The meal was decidedly kid-focused with tater tots and pulled chicken bbq. I sat with the older children during the late lunch and talked to them about school and new friends that they’ve made in their classes this year. The cake was red velvet so I didn’t partake, but everyone else enjoyed it and most ate seconds.

Then we were treated to a ribbon twirling performance set against a background of Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus songs as the middle child was given her own birthday gift a few days early too (along with a matching one for the eldest to mitigate any envy). The music would not have been my first choice, but no one asked me and that’s okay. After all, it wasn’t my party.

I’m in Kentucky this week, to the slight detriment of my productivity but to the benefit of my soul. I extended my Thanksgiving stay this year in order to hunt deer last weekend. Independent of the success of the hunt, there is something invigorating about watching a sunrise bring a glow and warmth over a frosty field. There is life in a sunrise that is absent from staring at a computer screen. The sunset has its appeal too, but the sunrise evokes more in me since I see fewer of them due to the orientation of my apartment.

This annual hunt also offers a chance to fill my freezer (and my parents’ too) with venison. I’ll be taking a cooler full of frozen meat back with me, as I do almost every time I come to Kentucky. It is good lean meat that has been a staple of my diet since I was a child, even if I rarely serve it to guests.

I won’t go into any great detail here about the hunt itself, but it was a successful weekend. That means I’ll be able to take another cooler full of meat with me at Christmas when I return. We’re about to start the end-of-year sprint that is integral to our transactional legal practice, so even a short, dedicated time of being in nature should prove very useful.

Even though I walk on the campus on a regular basis, I have no affinity for Duke. Some feelings from childhood simply run too deep to overcome without a truly compelling reason to do so. Seeing a game at Cameron Indoor, though, is something I’ve wanted to do for some time. On Saturday, I got that opportunity.

One of the members of my men’s bible study is a law student with a season ticket in the graduate student section. For games with lower demand early in the season, he is able to get guest tickets. Wofford is exactly that sort of visiting team—a team that is projected to be bottom half of its mid-major conference—but is also my alma mater. I asked him if he could get me a guest ticket, something that I fear took more effort on his part than he let on given his class schedule, but eventually he got three. That meant that we were also joined by one of my Wofford classmates and his wife.

Law students are still able to access their parking lot on game day, so we had game parking as if we were top-level donors. Then we just followed our host, showed our IDs at the ticket booth, received pink wristbands, and were whisked through the entrance doors to our places on the baseline. I say places because there were no seats. This being a student section it was standing room only and two people to each bleacher platform, at least at the start before the crowd thinned later in the game. Then we stood and took in the pregame atmosphere, an atmosphere that hardly approached a fever pitch but was still more than most due to just how small the arena is.

Wofford won the opening tip and scored first to take a 2-0 lead. I jokingly told my friend to take a picture of the scoreboard. Sadly, the comment proved prescient. Wofford proceeded to shoot 2 for 20 from 3 point range in the first half and trailed 51-14 when the halftime buzzer finally sounded. Things like that can happen when plan B is just more of plan A. The second half wasn’t much better for the Terriers, but Duke was in cruise control so the lead didn’t balloon in quite the same manner (though the margin did ultimately exceed 50 after a goaltending call got overturned during the last media timeout).

I took a small step towards repaying the favor by introducing my law student companion to a breakfast place close to campus yesterday morning. He is about to go into cave mode in preparation for exams, the time of the first year of law school that proved most stressful for me. He seems to be in a much better place emotionally than I was at the same point, something I hope continues for him.

I participated in a church men’s retreat this weekend. It was great to get out of the city for a little while and to be out in some cabins in the woods. It was not quite the outdoor experience I would have had if I had gone to Kentucky for the opening weekend of deer season, but I made that scheduling decision well in advance.

There were plenty of ideas presented that could be fodder for rumination, but the one that I’ve been turning over and over is “What is success?” For the first time in several years, this is becoming a live issue for me again. Given the current trajectory of the law firm, we are going to receive more and more financial rewards and we are already experiencing a modicum of professional notoriety in our niche market (though I’m still nowhere near being used to being the “celebrity” in the parasocial relationships that can form when you listen to someone through a number of presentations). These are both good things, things I enjoy. But I already know that they won’t be enough to satisfy.

I don’t have an answer to the question at this juncture and I’m sure that the answer will change as I go through different seasons of life, but thinking about the question and talking about it with a few people over the past few days has pointed me to a few areas where I want to change. Paso a paso.

Last week during my church small group, one of the things I discussed was how I want to do more things with people during the week. I then proceeded to shoot down the first suggestion that was made, perhaps a bit too hastily, but I am the old man of the group and so was forgiven at least by the continued flow of conversation. It wasn’t like I had any ideas myself for the week that is now past, but I threw the request out anyway.

Heading into the weekend, one of the group members posted a directive in our WhatsApp thread. In response, last night a group of us went for dinner at a local taco chain for their discounted Taco Tuesday promotion. For those who have spent any length of time around me, you’ll know that food is very important to me. I’ve planned entire days on vacation around meals. Americanized Mexican food, though, is not one of my regular genres.

Conversation topics varied from English soccer to which TV show I should watch next to engagement stories to meeting people on airplanes to why I wasn’t going to watch any election coverage when I got home to myriad other topics. It was a dinner party atmosphere that I so rarely experience and worth throwing off my meal planning schedule. As for the tacos, I’m glad I did not pay full price. I had some very good tacos in Mexico City earlier this year, and these weren’t in the same league. I still ate all three that I ordered. Then I picked up a second dinner on the way back to my apartment and enjoyed the poke bowl much more. It wasn’t like I made the drive for the food anyway.

Saturday afternoon and early evening, I went over to a friend’s house for a fall gathering. Mind you I went in shorts because it is still plenty warm enough to do so, but at least the beverages had a fall flair to them. I was the first guest to arrive, so I got to help entertain the hosts’ child and try to prepare him some for having so many people over (and him needing to share many of his toys). We sat in the living room as I spoke with my friend about the uptick in work that we’re both experiencing while the little guy danced to the 70s playlist that was coming from the television speakers. There was even a very brief moment where the little guy snuggled into me sitting on the couch. Then a new song started and he jumped down to dance some more. He is already a better dancer than I am, but at least he recognizes me now.

By the time all of the attendees arrived there were something like eighteen people there, seven of whom were under the age of 4. In fact I was the only person there who wasn’t either a child or a parent, making me the outlier of the crowd. I had met most of the people before, but I only know the children’s names. Sorry??? Regardless, I didn’t feel out of place during the evening and enjoyed being around the children. It is refreshing to interact with children, to watch them create worlds in their minds, to see them taking steps towards becoming integrated people. The kids played alongside each other more amicably than I anticipated, at least until the end when tiredness kicked in and tolerance waned.

There was even some time around a fire pit to cap off the festivities during which the men and boys went outside and the women and girls stayed inside for whatever confluence of reasons. I did not partake in any of the s’mores that others enjoyed, but the smile on the face of one of the children and the mess he made of that face were still memorable.

This weekend, we went to Boston on a work trip. It was my first time back since I graduated law school, but it was a very quick trip that was almost purely work-related. We only decided to make the trip a few weeks ago, so our travel options were limited. We stayed in one of the very few remaining Airbnb options that had multiple bedrooms. It was a place to sleep in Cambridge; that was fine and all we needed from it. What has been much more of an issue so far this week is my decision to take a very early flight back on Sunday morning. It is a decision that goes squarely into the “penny wise pound foolish” category, especially given how much energy I had to expend on Saturday to be “on” at the conference and the reception that followed.

I don’t sleep well normally, and I was sleeping at a rental, and I don’t know why I even bother setting an alarm when I need to wake up during la madrugada (a word that we don’t have in English but should). I woke up for good around 4:30 and took a rideshare to get to the airport around 5 for the early flight. It all meant that I was back at my apartment before 9 AM on Sunday, but I was out of it. I went to church to try to maintain some normalcy to the day but had a hard time focusing. Then when I got back I ate lunch, took a nap, and woke up more tired than before. The afternoon was a wash. Then to top it off I regressed during curling Sunday evening and fell more than I have since the first week of the season implementing the form change. At least I didn’t fall on Monday night (though my performance still left much to be desired).

Even writing this on Wednesday morning, I’m still feeling the effects of needing to be on all day Saturday for the conference and then flying back so early on Sunday. This has led to new rules for booking work travel, but the short-term damage is already done. It is my hope that at least these new rules will improve things in what is already shaping up to be a busy 2025 filled with work travel.

When entering into a new venture or trying to add new skills onto an existing skill base, there is often a period in the early phase where results are worse than the starting point. Then things will bottom out. Then results will start climbing, first back to baseline and then above it. The net result is a gain, but there is short-term pain that must be experienced to get there. This pattern is called a J curve (as it looks a bit like an italicized J when plotted on a graph). I describe the J curve regularly to clients who are acquiring businesses, but it is not a regular feature of my own professional life currently. Recently, I invited the J curve into my personal life.

As longtime readers may recall, curling is one of my regular seasonal recreation activities. Going into this fall season, now about three weeks old, I committed to a significant alteration in my form. Despite what you see in the Olympics, most recreational curlers use a stabilizer to support them during their slide instead of relying on their own balance with a bit of assistance from their brooms. This leads to inconsistencies in the delivery, inconsistencies that I want to eliminate from my game. It is perhaps unfortunate that I learned using a stabilizer in the first place, but doing so makes it easier to get started so I understand why I was taught using that technique. I began practicing the new technique during the spring but did not use it during competition. Now I am using it exclusively.

Results so far are mixed. My teams have been winning consistently, but more in spite of me than because of me. I’ve made a few key shots, but my percentages are lower than in the spring and I’m still falling over on some of my shots (not to mention the other variances that affect my shots that are not as visible). Despite this short-term regression, I remain committed to the change. Once I accumulate sufficient repetitions to overcome my balance issues, something I’m devoting extra practice sessions to achieving as I’m not great at halfway doing things, my delivery will be more consistent and my game will improve. This will be the upswing of the J curve. I’m not there yet, but I expect to be there within a few weeks. In the meantime, I’ll keep practicing and hoping that I don’t cost my teammates too much while I struggle on my climb out of the valley.

I spent four days in Las Vegas last week attending the Rhodium Summit. It is one of the few conferences I consider a can’t miss (and also one of the few times each year I get to see any of my clients in person). I do wish the event were somewhere else, though. The hotel this year was on a more isolated section of the strip so there were fewer restaurants available. Being in a Vegas casino is always a bit disorienting anyway since there are deliberately no clocks or windows on or near the casino floor. This wasn’t helped by the daytime highs in excess of 100 degrees that largely kept me inside. But enough about the negatives.

There are no pay-to-play speakers at Rhodium. Each of the talks is voted on by the attendees. My topic about drilling down on particular client avatars did not garner enough votes for me to get a speaking spot, but I suppose that was always likely given that it is a conference for digital entrepreneurs and I run a law firm. The event is three full days of content, workshops, mastermind sessions, meals, and being surrounded by other people living a similar professional life. One of the great parts for me now is that I’m able to reconnect with people and follow along with their journeys from afar as this was my third year attending. There can be a loneliness to operating a remote business that is rarely discussed, but a conference like this is a reminder that there are others like me.

Coming back from this year’s Rhodium, my immediate business focus is on trying a few AI workflows that other people have used to great effect. We don’t prospect in quite the same way as any of the other conference attendees, but there are a few tools and methods I’m going to try in order to see how well they transfer to the law firm context. Something will work, but I’m not going to even try to handicap which thing it will be.

On Saturday, I drove down to Charlotte for the afternoon. This is not a normal day trip for me, but I had reason to do so. One of the people I’ve met through my business and with whom I speak on an almost weekly basis was visiting and it was a chance to shake his hand. Since a face-to-face connection is a deeper connection than a digital one, I made the drive to the Queen City.

I still find it amusing that no one is exactly the height that you expect based on video conferences. Camera angles can do weird things. Every time I meet someone in person after meeting them through a video screen this happens, a reminder that what is mediated through the screen doesn’t necessarily accord with reality. Sadly that can be true of much more important things than how tall someone is.

We walked around the neighborhood where I used to live and discussed business and football and why certain parts of the country are superior to others as we stopped for food and drink at a couple of places. It was jolting how much new construction there has been since I moved from Charlotte during the pandemic. It is still the same city in many ways, but there was more happening on Saturday than I remember. Of course, it was around 80 degrees at the end of September so there was ample reason to be out and about.

During dinner at the food hall that I consider the best in the state (and at which my companion still opted for a hamburger and fries instead of any of the myriad regional and global offerings), we came up with a few possibilities for new ventures. I’m excited about some of them and exploring them in the coming weeks will give me a break from the increased busyness that has finally come to the law firm.