On one of my (too many) zoom calls yesterday, during the introductory chit-chat, the topic of discussion was how everyone spent the holiday weekend. Of the nine people on the call, seven had eaten hamburgers during the unofficial start of summer. These were all Americans, but Americans who live all over the country and a couple who are ex pats living in Mexico. No matter; almost everyone ate burgers this weekend. As for me, I ate a smashburger at a local place by the baseball stadium that I hadn’t visited before and tripled down on the meal with a ginger ale and some tater tots (on a related note, every part of it was better than Shake Shack or In-N-Out. Fight me). My burger wasn’t on Monday, but I still wanted a hamburger for Memorial Day weekend.

This early conversation was a little humorous, but it also reflected something deeper. It was an example of one of those deep cultural connections that we have as Americans. It’s not the only one—turkey at Thanksgiving anyone???—but we often aren’t given any chance to contemplate them. I didn’t even have time to contemplate this one until much later as the meeting proceeded quickly after this introduction and then I had two more meetings stacked afterwards. When I finally did think about it for a few minutes, I chuckled just a little. These were very different people, joined together by a desire to learn how to use AI better in work and life, yet we’d all had the same meal around the same holiday because summer has the same shared meaning for us all. It would be naïve to wax poetic about how things would be much better if we focused on these shared meanings and experiences, but maybe taking in less political content would be a good start.

From Thursday evening through Sunday, I participated in a tango encuentro, a festival of sorts. I danced with people from all over the country during the weekend, which still seems a little crazy but I suppose I’ve traveled to do things like watch a few baseball games.

After I spent a few weeks reintroducing myself to tango at the start of the year, I found out about this event and set participation in it as an internal target. Since this wasn’t a competition it was not the easiest to create a measuring stick for success, but I settled on something like being skilled enough to participate comfortably (squishy though that standard may be). I’ve been dealing with some muscle injuries that limited my prep, but I feel satisfied that I achieved the level I wanted for the event. I still feel I was among the worst participants, but so be it. I did receive positive feedback from multiple other people so maybe that’s more accurate than my own internal monologue. As for demographics, I was definitely on the younger side. Stated differently, I was almost certainly one of the ten youngest people out of the two hundred or so participants. In some ways that was freeing and older women are more willing to tolerate my two left feet anyway.

I then followed it up by going to a concert last night where I stood for several hours letting country rock music wash over me. This was actually my second time seeing Paul Cauthen in concert as I also saw him perform when I was in Montana last summer. I was very glad that I brought my concert earplugs with me; those were a great find by my brother a couple of years ago. It was a great show, but it did prolong my inability to resume my normal sleep schedule. Choices.

Living in a downtown apartment, I don’t get as much time in nature as I would like. I feel it every time I’m outside the city. It’s one of the trade-offs I’ve made for this season of my life. Right now I prioritize walking and being close to activities. That probably won’t be the case forever. Anyway, I did something that many would consider crazy on Sunday, something that I myself would have considered crazy during most other seasons of my life. I went on a short hike with the primary purpose of being able to listen to the buzz of the cicadas. I had heard them during my Saturday activities and wanted to clear my head a little, so I drove about 20 minutes north to a lovely little park with a few hiking trails leading down to a riverbank. I’d been there before, but this time I took the longer loop trail for a pleasant afternoon stroll away from most of the other people who had similar ideas.

For anyone who hasn’t heard the cicadas in a while, the sound was not like that of a rainforest as one might imagine; it’s much too monotone even if the volume got close and there were occasional bird sounds to act as treble against the bass of the insects. Early May here also lacks the humidity of a rainforest, but that will set in soon enough as we move towards summer. I lingered on a bench at the riverbank for several minutes overlooking a tiny rapid thinking a lot about what should come next. Then I got up in what passes for peaceful calm and walked back up and along the ridge to the parking lot. One the walk back, there was even an adult black snake that slithered across the trail in front of me. That was the largest wildlife I saw during the afternoon, but wildlife viewing wasn’t the purpose of this trip. No, the purpose of this trip was a seasonal sort of forest bathing.

I made a quick trip to Kentucky this weekend. It was a chance to see family, watch the world’s most famous horse race with people who have some understanding of what they’re watching, eat a lot of food, and go turkey hunting. Well, at least go sit in the woods and call for turkeys. This turkey season wasn’t very successful for many and my one hunt of the season ended early when there was no activity.

On my way on Friday, I took a detour. It’s one of my favorite detours to take, turning south instead of north when I get to Knoxville. I left home early and rushed through lunch on the road so that I would be waiting when two of my favorite people got off the school bus at the end of their week. I even got a few minutes with their younger brother beforehand to continue my work to ingratiate myself with him. He’s easier to interact with now that he’s talking more, but it’s still a work in progress. At least now he has a few balls to play with in the house; throwing a ball is an easy way to bond with a little boy.

Once it stopped raining, the girls wanted to go outside and ride their bicycles. The older has been able to ride her bike for a while now and lazed up and down the driveway talking to everyone as she went, long hair flowing in her wake. The younger has been learning how to ride without training wheels. She was so very close to doing it all by herself. Once she got going, she could pedal and steer and go and go all the way down their long driveway. She was having difficulty, though, with starting and needed a push to generate initial forward momentum. She enlisted me to help. First, I had her change her shoes so that her feet would stop slipping off the pedals so much. Then we worked on the technique of positioning the pedals with one at the top and one at bottom. Then she practiced kicking off with her standing leg. Then she practiced kicking off and pedaling down hard with the initial motion. Then she put everything together, wobbling a little, and starting under her own power. It was amazing how quickly she progressed.

Later that evening, I received a video of her starting and pedaling and riding up the driveway all by herself. She was showing off for her dad after he got home from work. She was beaming. I’m not about to take any real credit for teaching her. All I did was give her a few final tips. No, the thing that stuck with me is that she had all of the skills in place already and just needed one more technique, that final 1%, to achieve her goal. I just wish it were easier to tell in my own projects when I’m that close to seeing results. And her smile; her smile stuck with me too.

I still haven’t taken the time to process all of the notes I took during the last two weeks’ conferences. Given the topic of this week’s missive, that will come across as procrastination. Maybe it was.

This was the first week without either travel or curling on Sunday and Monday for me since early fall. It was different. Combined with the longer daylight hours, it bordered on unnerving during those evenings. I am very much routine-driven, from my gym schedule to most of my meals to my target work schedule. Now I have gaping holes in my weekly evening routine for the next several months. It presents opportunities, but I must seize them.

I’m dabbling with speaking Spanish again by trying a few different teachers out this week who will speak with me over Zoom. That, though, is a morning activity and morning availability is more a reflection of the continued slow M&A market than anything else. So far, it’s been amazing both what I remember and what I’ve forgotten since I last spoke the language at any length some two years ago.

In addition to taking extra walks in the evening, I’ve begun watching The Parisian Agency on Netflix as a stopgap measure. One episode per evening as I’m not a fan of binging content. It’s a real estate show that if nothing else adds a little perspective to the prices I see on houses and condos locally. There are a few more episodes and a new season on the way, but that’s not even a medium term answer. Staying at home isn’t the answer at all actually. No, I want new activities to occupy my evenings, new chances to meet people and sink in roots here in the Triangle.

Two full days being “on” at a conference sapped almost all of the energy I’d stored up from my work vacation last week. It’s something I’ve decided is necessary for the next phase of building my business, but my introversion makes it a challenge. I do my best work at conferences during the early mornings and in-between times when there are fewer people present. Then I’m able to actually focus on a conversation and not be at risk of mentally shutting down. This conference was no exception.

The sessions themselves were informative. Sure, I run a services business and not a SaaS company, but many of the concepts translate and the better I can speak the language of SaaS the more I’m able to win customers. I took pages of notes that I’ll transcribe and then chew on in the weeks to come. This is a secondary purpose of attending industry conferences, but this conference was better than most as it wasn’t just SaaS companies trying to sell SaaS to other SaaS companies. There was even an excursion portion of the conference where I went and made some biscuits, though the highlight of that culinary experience was the peach marmalade that I had no role in producing.

After each day’s activities finished, there was a happy hour. Happy hours are rarely happy for me. There are usually too many people and it’s almost always too loud. This conference had three. At the first one, I worked the room and had conversations with a few different people. The conversations were a roll of the dice (most people don’t come to a tech conference to talk to a lawyer) but I put in the repetitions. The second one was the busiest and most crowded. I made it a little over an hour until I could no longer tolerate the cacophony and so left for an early dinner. For the third one, I couldn’t even bring myself to participate. I was spent and so just turned around. There was a time not so long ago when I would’ve beaten myself up for that for the next two weeks, but not anymore. I know that I would not have been effective during the final happy hour and that’s okay. I did what I needed to do earlier in the conference and that’s good enough. Now it’s time to consolidate the new connections made and process my notes.

Before last month, I’d never been to Mexico. Now, I’m here on my second trip. I’m staying at a resort adjacent to Puerto Morelos, a little town about twenty miles south of Cancun. This is a very different Mexico than CDMX, one that in many ways is just an extension of the United States with Latin American style poverty tucked away but not quite hidden. There may be a time when I want to see the Mayan ruins that are scattered throughout the Yucatan Peninsula but otherwise I’m unsure why I’d return. The purpose of this trip was to attend a Rhodium retreat, a business community I’m part of that puts on what I consider to be can’t-miss events.

Yesterday was the excursion day, and also the only time I’ll leave the resort grounds until I leave for the airport. It included going snorkeling over a coral reef for the first time since I was in Australia one summer during college with my family. Highlights included seeing a sting ray and not getting sick. I don’t have the greatest track record on that latter point. That part of the day also saw me set foot on the beach to get to the boat dock, so I did technically walk on the beach this trip. We then traveled by bus inland to visit some cenotes and finished the day riding four wheelers through the jungle getting caked with dust.

The excursion activities aren’t the reason I came, though. I came to be around people who have taken similar business journeys to myself. It’s a concentrated chance to take in lessons and glean insights from people who are years ahead and to help those who are going through things I’ve gone through. I also gave a version of what I’ve begun calling the M&A weather report, a sort of market update I give to different groups in which I participate. I feel that’s a meager contribution relative to what I receive from everyone else, but I’ve had multiple people ask me follow up questions so it seems like at least someone found it useful. That’s a marked improvement from when I first started attending these events. I still have the feeling of an outsider that I wrote about after the most recent Rhodium event in October, but maybe now I’m at least contributing more from my outsider perspective.

There was one full day of working sessions on Monday and another today. I will have to make do with less energy today, but I’m still looking forward to it and scrambling to jot down notes that I’ll begin processing once the current round of travel ends later next week.

Within the bounds of needing to be responsive to clients and making sure that work product goes out on time, I am in control of my work schedule. With this modicum of control, I’ve been able to experiment with different workweek patterns in order to find rhythms that work best for certain periods. The normal version of my public availability is half days most days of the week (balanced between mornings and evenings to ensure better overall availability across a full week) with Tuesday being meeting free. Mind you, it never seems to actually work out that way but it looks decent on paper and it’s better than previous iterations.

Currently, Bill is on vacation. To better cover his absence, I modified my public calendar availability so that people could book meetings with me at any point from 9 AM to 5 PM on weekdays. This was an unsuccessful experiment, one that reminded me why I limited my public-facing availability in the first place. Don’t misunderstand me—I’m always grateful for the opportunity to pitch a prospective client. I’m even more grateful when those meetings get batched together as I find it preferrable to have two or three hours of solid meetings rather than to break them up. This week, though, there have been several 30 minute breaks between 30 minute meetings due to more overall availability and that has caused stop-start days. It’s not the worst thing in the world; it just means that I’ve had to push the “real” work to the early mornings and the evenings. If I had more of a social life filled with evening activities, then my current work schedule would be more of a problem than it actually is. Maybe that’s the real reason I’m a little embittered about the whole thing; it’s definitely not the vacation thing. In any event, I’ll have a new iteration of my calendar by May after a few work trips during the rest of April. It is my hope that I’ll return to the path of incremental improvement after this misstep.

In February I wrote about watching some of the short films nominated for this year’s Academy Awards. Last week, I watched the winner in the documentary category after I stumbled upon a free showing while searching for evening activities.

That film is 20 Days in Mariupol, a documentary filmed by Ukrainian AP journalists during the beginning of what became a brutal siege of the Ukrainian city. I knew what happened in the city, but I did not know what to expect from the film. The film hit hard. This is not a film for children, those with weak stomachs, or those wanting a relaxing, feel-good story. The filmmakers based themselves at a hospital and filmed what transpired before them. Things also grew increasingly dire at the hospital as supplies ran out and the gruesome injuries kept coming. There were a few poignant, painful images in those scenes but I won’t describe them here. At one point the filmmakers were even behind Russian lines and recorded Russian tanks blasting away at apartment blocks. The filmmakers also edited in some of the Russian language coverage of their footage espousing conspiracy theories about how parts of it were faked, a reminder that information control remains a key part of conflict even if it’s more difficult now than in the past.

The weather that evening was appropriate too. It was an unrelenting downpour that lasted from before I left my apartment until well after I returned. The experience was not uplifting, but it was still a very worthwhile few hours. The whole film is currently available for free on YouTube and lasts about 90 minutes if you want to watch it.

My Mexico City trip last week was the continuation of a travel experiment that has now spanned five destinations over the past couple of years. That experiment has meant spending a longer time in a single place, at least a week, and acting a bit more like I live there rather than just visiting. I’m ready to take this travel approach to the next level, which will mean traveling with other people again. Perhaps it will happen this summer as I have a few ideas turning over in my mind now that I’ve started going to new places again. Unfortunately many of my friends still have more typical corporate work schedules. Come on guys, get with the program.

I also ceded more planning control over this trip than any I’ve taken since I was a child. This was a new experiment in delegation. I did not meet my own high standards in this effort, mainly because I failed to give sufficiently clear instructions. In any event, I’ll learn from it, recalibrate, and do better on my next trip as I find the right balance between delegating and doing things myself. The pendulum is definitely going to swing back towards me being more involved next time. That habit is going to be as enduring as my habit of walking excessive distances when I travel, a habit to which my family can attest citing multiple examples. As for what and when that next time will be, suggestions are welcome. What off-the-wall destinations should I consider in the coming months?