Category: Newsletter (Page 3 of 20)

I participated in a church men’s retreat this weekend. It was great to get out of the city for a little while and to be out in some cabins in the woods. It was not quite the outdoor experience I would have had if I had gone to Kentucky for the opening weekend of deer season, but I made that scheduling decision well in advance.

There were plenty of ideas presented that could be fodder for rumination, but the one that I’ve been turning over and over is “What is success?” For the first time in several years, this is becoming a live issue for me again. Given the current trajectory of the law firm, we are going to receive more and more financial rewards and we are already experiencing a modicum of professional notoriety in our niche market (though I’m still nowhere near being used to being the “celebrity” in the parasocial relationships that can form when you listen to someone through a number of presentations). These are both good things, things I enjoy. But I already know that they won’t be enough to satisfy.

I don’t have an answer to the question at this juncture and I’m sure that the answer will change as I go through different seasons of life, but thinking about the question and talking about it with a few people over the past few days has pointed me to a few areas where I want to change. Paso a paso.

Last week during my church small group, one of the things I discussed was how I want to do more things with people during the week. I then proceeded to shoot down the first suggestion that was made, perhaps a bit too hastily, but I am the old man of the group and so was forgiven at least by the continued flow of conversation. It wasn’t like I had any ideas myself for the week that is now past, but I threw the request out anyway.

Heading into the weekend, one of the group members posted a directive in our WhatsApp thread. In response, last night a group of us went for dinner at a local taco chain for their discounted Taco Tuesday promotion. For those who have spent any length of time around me, you’ll know that food is very important to me. I’ve planned entire days on vacation around meals. Americanized Mexican food, though, is not one of my regular genres.

Conversation topics varied from English soccer to which TV show I should watch next to engagement stories to meeting people on airplanes to why I wasn’t going to watch any election coverage when I got home to myriad other topics. It was a dinner party atmosphere that I so rarely experience and worth throwing off my meal planning schedule. As for the tacos, I’m glad I did not pay full price. I had some very good tacos in Mexico City earlier this year, and these weren’t in the same league. I still ate all three that I ordered. Then I picked up a second dinner on the way back to my apartment and enjoyed the poke bowl much more. It wasn’t like I made the drive for the food anyway.

Saturday afternoon and early evening, I went over to a friend’s house for a fall gathering. Mind you I went in shorts because it is still plenty warm enough to do so, but at least the beverages had a fall flair to them. I was the first guest to arrive, so I got to help entertain the hosts’ child and try to prepare him some for having so many people over (and him needing to share many of his toys). We sat in the living room as I spoke with my friend about the uptick in work that we’re both experiencing while the little guy danced to the 70s playlist that was coming from the television speakers. There was even a very brief moment where the little guy snuggled into me sitting on the couch. Then a new song started and he jumped down to dance some more. He is already a better dancer than I am, but at least he recognizes me now.

By the time all of the attendees arrived there were something like eighteen people there, seven of whom were under the age of 4. In fact I was the only person there who wasn’t either a child or a parent, making me the outlier of the crowd. I had met most of the people before, but I only know the children’s names. Sorry??? Regardless, I didn’t feel out of place during the evening and enjoyed being around the children. It is refreshing to interact with children, to watch them create worlds in their minds, to see them taking steps towards becoming integrated people. The kids played alongside each other more amicably than I anticipated, at least until the end when tiredness kicked in and tolerance waned.

There was even some time around a fire pit to cap off the festivities during which the men and boys went outside and the women and girls stayed inside for whatever confluence of reasons. I did not partake in any of the s’mores that others enjoyed, but the smile on the face of one of the children and the mess he made of that face were still memorable.

This weekend, we went to Boston on a work trip. It was my first time back since I graduated law school, but it was a very quick trip that was almost purely work-related. We only decided to make the trip a few weeks ago, so our travel options were limited. We stayed in one of the very few remaining Airbnb options that had multiple bedrooms. It was a place to sleep in Cambridge; that was fine and all we needed from it. What has been much more of an issue so far this week is my decision to take a very early flight back on Sunday morning. It is a decision that goes squarely into the “penny wise pound foolish” category, especially given how much energy I had to expend on Saturday to be “on” at the conference and the reception that followed.

I don’t sleep well normally, and I was sleeping at a rental, and I don’t know why I even bother setting an alarm when I need to wake up during la madrugada (a word that we don’t have in English but should). I woke up for good around 4:30 and took a rideshare to get to the airport around 5 for the early flight. It all meant that I was back at my apartment before 9 AM on Sunday, but I was out of it. I went to church to try to maintain some normalcy to the day but had a hard time focusing. Then when I got back I ate lunch, took a nap, and woke up more tired than before. The afternoon was a wash. Then to top it off I regressed during curling Sunday evening and fell more than I have since the first week of the season implementing the form change. At least I didn’t fall on Monday night (though my performance still left much to be desired).

Even writing this on Wednesday morning, I’m still feeling the effects of needing to be on all day Saturday for the conference and then flying back so early on Sunday. This has led to new rules for booking work travel, but the short-term damage is already done. It is my hope that at least these new rules will improve things in what is already shaping up to be a busy 2025 filled with work travel.

When entering into a new venture or trying to add new skills onto an existing skill base, there is often a period in the early phase where results are worse than the starting point. Then things will bottom out. Then results will start climbing, first back to baseline and then above it. The net result is a gain, but there is short-term pain that must be experienced to get there. This pattern is called a J curve (as it looks a bit like an italicized J when plotted on a graph). I describe the J curve regularly to clients who are acquiring businesses, but it is not a regular feature of my own professional life currently. Recently, I invited the J curve into my personal life.

As longtime readers may recall, curling is one of my regular seasonal recreation activities. Going into this fall season, now about three weeks old, I committed to a significant alteration in my form. Despite what you see in the Olympics, most recreational curlers use a stabilizer to support them during their slide instead of relying on their own balance with a bit of assistance from their brooms. This leads to inconsistencies in the delivery, inconsistencies that I want to eliminate from my game. It is perhaps unfortunate that I learned using a stabilizer in the first place, but doing so makes it easier to get started so I understand why I was taught using that technique. I began practicing the new technique during the spring but did not use it during competition. Now I am using it exclusively.

Results so far are mixed. My teams have been winning consistently, but more in spite of me than because of me. I’ve made a few key shots, but my percentages are lower than in the spring and I’m still falling over on some of my shots (not to mention the other variances that affect my shots that are not as visible). Despite this short-term regression, I remain committed to the change. Once I accumulate sufficient repetitions to overcome my balance issues, something I’m devoting extra practice sessions to achieving as I’m not great at halfway doing things, my delivery will be more consistent and my game will improve. This will be the upswing of the J curve. I’m not there yet, but I expect to be there within a few weeks. In the meantime, I’ll keep practicing and hoping that I don’t cost my teammates too much while I struggle on my climb out of the valley.

I spent four days in Las Vegas last week attending the Rhodium Summit. It is one of the few conferences I consider a can’t miss (and also one of the few times each year I get to see any of my clients in person). I do wish the event were somewhere else, though. The hotel this year was on a more isolated section of the strip so there were fewer restaurants available. Being in a Vegas casino is always a bit disorienting anyway since there are deliberately no clocks or windows on or near the casino floor. This wasn’t helped by the daytime highs in excess of 100 degrees that largely kept me inside. But enough about the negatives.

There are no pay-to-play speakers at Rhodium. Each of the talks is voted on by the attendees. My topic about drilling down on particular client avatars did not garner enough votes for me to get a speaking spot, but I suppose that was always likely given that it is a conference for digital entrepreneurs and I run a law firm. The event is three full days of content, workshops, mastermind sessions, meals, and being surrounded by other people living a similar professional life. One of the great parts for me now is that I’m able to reconnect with people and follow along with their journeys from afar as this was my third year attending. There can be a loneliness to operating a remote business that is rarely discussed, but a conference like this is a reminder that there are others like me.

Coming back from this year’s Rhodium, my immediate business focus is on trying a few AI workflows that other people have used to great effect. We don’t prospect in quite the same way as any of the other conference attendees, but there are a few tools and methods I’m going to try in order to see how well they transfer to the law firm context. Something will work, but I’m not going to even try to handicap which thing it will be.

On Saturday, I drove down to Charlotte for the afternoon. This is not a normal day trip for me, but I had reason to do so. One of the people I’ve met through my business and with whom I speak on an almost weekly basis was visiting and it was a chance to shake his hand. Since a face-to-face connection is a deeper connection than a digital one, I made the drive to the Queen City.

I still find it amusing that no one is exactly the height that you expect based on video conferences. Camera angles can do weird things. Every time I meet someone in person after meeting them through a video screen this happens, a reminder that what is mediated through the screen doesn’t necessarily accord with reality. Sadly that can be true of much more important things than how tall someone is.

We walked around the neighborhood where I used to live and discussed business and football and why certain parts of the country are superior to others as we stopped for food and drink at a couple of places. It was jolting how much new construction there has been since I moved from Charlotte during the pandemic. It is still the same city in many ways, but there was more happening on Saturday than I remember. Of course, it was around 80 degrees at the end of September so there was ample reason to be out and about.

During dinner at the food hall that I consider the best in the state (and at which my companion still opted for a hamburger and fries instead of any of the myriad regional and global offerings), we came up with a few possibilities for new ventures. I’m excited about some of them and exploring them in the coming weeks will give me a break from the increased busyness that has finally come to the law firm.

I went to two different new places this weekend. As my mother was staying with me, it was easier to justify doing things that I would not otherwise have done. With all of the necessary caveats about a small sample size, expectations did not correspond with enjoyment.

Late morning on Saturday, I decided we would drive out of the city to a spot with a taproom and a restaurant set overlooking a river. It is a brewery with something of a cult following locally and that specializes in a style of beer that is one of my favorites. I had wanted to go for some time but wanted someone with me. Not that my mother drinks beer (she doesn’t), but she still came along for the ride. It was a disappointment. They didn’t have the beer that I really wanted to try on tap, and I would only drink one of the four that I did try again. I still soldiered through and finished each of the four samplers, but I felt a little cheated.

Before lunch, we took a short walk along a trail on the riverbank. It was nice to see a turtle sunning on a log, but the deluge we’d received a few days prior left the trail muddier than I wanted so the walk only lasted about ten minutes each way. Lunch was good though not spectacular enough to merit the trip by itself and then we returned to Durham.

On Sunday, we went to a jazz brunch at a restaurant in a converted car service station serving Southern food. I had come across it in searching for restaurants at some point but hadn’t had the occasion to actually go. I thought a birthday brunch would be a fine opportunity, though, so I made a reservation. I had driven past the place several times but didn’t know what to expect inside and hadn’t even looked at the menu. And it ended up being a very pleasant meal. I was even chided a little at the meal’s conclusion by the people at the next table who thought I was planning on way too short a stay at the Duke Gardens that afternoon. As it turned out, we did not stay as long as they’d suggested was necessary. It is late summer after all so there weren’t as many plants still in bloom. Regardless, I’m glad that I showed my mother the grounds.

I watched The Menu this weekend. It was a movie I’d wanted to watch for some time after watching a review on a YouTube channel that breaks down the cinematography, sound, and direction of movies. Given the dearth of movies that I actually watch, it may seem strange that I watch videos about the artistry of movies. So be it; that’s what I enjoy. This is another one of the movies I’ve watched and now written about that is not for children or the squeamish.

The Menu is about an ultra-exclusive restaurant set on its own private island, the chef, the staff, and the diners. Through a single service, a single tasting menu, we are shown the mind of the chef and so many of the things that are flawed in the world of fancy restaurants. For regular readers, you’ll remember not too long ago that I wrote about another chef-related movie (Hunger) from Thailand. The two actually pair nicely and speak to many of the same deeper themes through the lens of haute cuisine.

At a more fundamental level, The Menu is a film about obsession and the state of humanity after postmodern deconstruction has wreaked havoc. The most poignant moment of the film is the response that Anya Taylor-Joy offers to the results of this nihilism playing out before her. It does not rise to the level of Alyosha interacting with his brother Ivan in The Brothers Karamazov (almost nothing does), but it is a flickering candle of hope that perhaps some of the magic of life can still be restored. I already knew the plot before watching the film but won’t spoil it for any readers who might be interested as I would have enjoyed the experience even more had I not known what was coming next. Even then, it was a film that rose and rose and rose up to its crescendo and then landed nicely in its dénouement.

Last weekend, both members of the firm traveled to Washington, D.C. for the Southeastern Entrepreneurship Through Acquisition Conference. It was a much larger event than I’d anticipated, perhaps 500 people or more in attendance across the two days. This was our third conference of the year so far, and our most targeted and important. Events like this one are the only times when we ever get to see our clients and referral partners in person. They are a chance to demonstrate our expertise in front of a large number of people. They are also completely exhausting for me. That is not the case for my business partner, but I write the newsletter.

Through our sponsorship, we were the only attorneys who were part of a substantive panel discussion during the event. Other attorneys acted as moderators, but unexpectedly our firm received top billing out of the law firms on the sponsor placard. I assume that we paid more for that privilege, but we wanted to present and that’s what we were able to do. There was probably a time when I would have been rather nervous sitting on a stage in front of an audience of hundreds of people, but that wasn’t the case on Saturday. My strongest recollection was a dislike for how my voice sounded through the sound system in the auditorium, a result of sounding different to myself than to anyone else and something that isn’t unique to me. Legal diligence is hardly the most exciting topic, but I tried to keep things light by playing off college basketball preferences during the introductions since there were MBA students from four main schools at the conference.

By the time the closing reception started on Saturday in the late afternoon, I was finished. During almost every conversation I had during the weekend, I was pouring out energy and answers to whomever I spoke. It was little use for me to try to mingle with people by the end, so I spent most of the hour and a half sitting on a bench inside with a lite version of a thousand yard stare. I still had multiple people come up to me to talk about either the information I’d discussed during the diligence panel or about how they’d enjoyed our ongoing webinar series we’re doing around legal issues in small business M&A. I had only positive interactions the whole weekend, but it was not a weekend filled with rest.